We would like to say a huge THANK YOU to the Captain Tom Foundation for allowing us to raise funds for BCARS and honour his legacy during the #CaptainTom100 weekend. We chose to tell 100 jokes over the weekend to help lift each other’s spirits while raising funds for the work we do helping the homeless in Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole. Monies from this fundraiser will go to support our Trainee Aspiration Pot (TAP) which helps support our trainees achieve their aspirations, such as supplying tools for self-startups, rent deposits and IT equipment. If you would like to contribute, go to https://localgiving.org/fundraising/CaptainTom100Jokes/
10 What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Hallou - mi.
9 This sandwich is so burnt it satisfies Levitical law.
8 What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
4 My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I finally had to take the bike off of him.
6 The urge to sing ‘the lion sleeps tonight’ is never more than a whim away.
9 A man bought a couple of railway buffer stops really cheap. It was an end of the line sale.
4 A customer in a restaurant says to the waiter, 'Do you think you could bring me what the gentleman over there is having?' The waiter looks at him sternly and says, 'No sir, I'm very sure he intends to eat it himself.'
3 It is rumoured Arnold Schwarzenneger and Sylvester Stallone are going to star in a new film about Mozart and Johann Sebastian Bach. It hasn't been decided who will play who, but Arnold has said 'I'll be Bach'.
2 I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.